Neighborhood Doctor: Resilience Development in kids
We all want to keep our kids healthy, happy and moving in the direction they need to but we know they will experiencing hard times, even though we do all we can to minimize and mitigate any chances of that happening. In this episode we explore how to best handle adversity, and build-up their resilience. We talk about focusing on what they are good at, and giving them praise as two excellent ways you can support your kids.
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Our Host
Dr. Ryan Hassan
Transcript:
(00:00)
Dr. Ryan Hassan: (00:04)
I am Ryan, pediatrician and dad here to answer my patient's most common questions. Today I want to talk a little about one of the ways I like to help build resilience in my patients and ways that parents can do the same.
Dr. Ryan Hassan: (00:20)
For those who aren't familiar with the term. Resilience in child development refers to our ability or our children's ability to bounce back from adversity, to go through stressful, sometimes traumatizing experiences and to learn from and grow from them, rather than being deflated and beaten down by them. Obviously, we want to minimize and mitigate as much of the negative experiences, uh, that our children have to deal with as we can, but that's not always possible. And of course there's benefit to adversity as well. But by helping teach our children our resilience and building resilience skills in them, we can help make them better able to cope with traumatic experiences and otherwise stressful experiences. So one way that I like to do this in my clinic is I ask parents or patients children to tell me about their strengths or things that they're good at, talents and interests that they have.
Dr. Ryan Hassan: (01:18)
I think it's helpful because often in medical settings, the expectation is that you go in and you talk about something that you're worried about or a problem that you have that needs fixing. But I think it can be very helpful to instead focus on things that children are good at and that are going well for them. And I think this is something that parents can benefit from doing as well. Just making time to talk about what your child is good at, what their strengths are, what their talents are, what they're interested in taking an interest in the things that they're interested in. You know, just taking some the question as simple as asking, Hey, you know, what's something you think you're good at? You know, or Do you feel like you're talented at this or that? We know that if you hear good things about yourselves and if you speak good things about yourself, it helps you think more positively about yourself, and that improves our sense of self-worth, and in turn, our quality of life and our health outcomes.
Dr. Ryan Hassan: (02:13)
It can also be helpful to help your child out. When you're asking 'em this, they might quickly run out of things that they're good at and they might not have an answer for you, but you can point things out to them and say, you know, this is something I think that you're good at, and a strength that I see in you. And similarly, it can be very helpful, I think, just to comment on things that they do well and reasons you appreciate them. I am a strong proponent of giving unsolicited positive feedback, and I try to do this with my daughter all the time. One of the things I'm constantly praising her and thanking her for is the fact that she's very patient. In times when I'm not patient or I've had a long day and I can't give her the attention that she deserves, I often find myself telling her, you know, I really appreciate how patient you are with me and how understanding you are and that you're able to work with me when I'm upset. And you know, she's only two and a half, but I think she understands a lot of what I'm getting at when I tell her that. So I think those are some basic ways that you can help try to promote your child's psychological wellness and their self-confidence and their ability to move through the world and be resilient to any and all adversity they might come across.
Dr. Ryan Hassan: (03:23)
I hope that's helpful. That's my show. If you have any medical questions you'd like me to answer, reach out to Boost Oregon online and come back next week for a new episode of boosting our Voices with my friend Ari.